Metta: A Practice of Love, Kindness, and Radical Compassion

What is Metta (Loving Kindness Meditation)?

Valentine’s Day often reminds us of love—cards, poetry, fresh flowers, and chocolate. But love, in its deepest form, is more than romantic gestures. It is a practice, a way of being. For me, this holiday naturally brings up Metta—a loving-kindness practice rooted in Buddhist tradition, but universal in its essence.

The Meaning of Metta in Buddhist Tradition

Metta is the intentional practice of offering well-wishes to ourselves and others, extending kindness not just to those we love but to all beings—even those we struggle with. It is a gentle yet powerful way to train the heart and mind toward love, compassion, and forgiveness.

One of my teachers, Johann Robbins, speaks about why we always begin with ourselves in Metta practice. If we cannot extend love, kindness, and forgiveness to ourselves, how can we truly offer it to others? If our own hearts are filled with self-judgment or unworthiness, our love remains conditional, limited.

How to Practice Metta Meditation

So we start where we are. With ourselves. Placing my hands over my heart, I let my attention rest there, softly repeating phrases of well-being:

👉 May I be peaceful.
👉 May I be at ease.
👉 May I be free from suffering.

There is no rigid script. The words may change, but the intention remains the same.

Expanding Metta: Sending Loving-Kindness to Others

Once we’ve cultivated kindness within, we expand outward—to friends, family, strangers, and even those we find difficult. Yes, even the ones who test our patience, the ones whose actions we deeply oppose.

This is where Metta becomes truly transformative.

It’s easy to wonder:
Why should I send love to people who are greedy, cruel, or power-hungry?

Because someone who is truly happy, whole, and at peace does not harm others. If they were filled with love, they would want others to be happy too. Their cruelty, their greed—it comes from suffering. From a fractured heart.

Metta is not magic—we don’t control the fate of others through our well-wishes. If we send Metta to someone who is sick, we are not personally responsible if they recover. Likewise, if they do not heal, we are not to blame. The true gift of this practice is what it cultivates within us—a heart that is open, steady, and free from bitterness.

The Science of Loving-Kindness: How Metta Changes the Brain

The mind is powerful. The stories it spins can create suffering. Metta is a way to gently redirect, to soften, to protect ourselves from spiraling into despair, cynicism, or resentment. Research shows that Metta and gratitude practices actually change the brain, strengthening pathways linked to joy and resilience. Teachers like Sharon Salzberg have written extensively about this, showing how Metta is not just a spiritual practice but a scientifically-backed way to cultivate well-being.

With everything happening in the world today, Metta is a radical act. Feeling overwhelmed by the news? Feeling hopeless, unsure how to engage or take action? Metta won’t solve every problem, but it will tend to your heart, keeping it strong enough to show up in the ways that matter.

Metta for the Earth: Extending Love Beyond Humanity

Metta doesn’t have to stop with people. I often extend this practice to the Earth itself—the home we all share. Regardless of our differences, we all belong to this planet. No one is from anywhere else. We all have a heart. We all deserve love. No exceptions.

The way we care for our hearts reflects the way we care for the world. And when we care deeply, our actions follow.

Try This: A Simple Metta Practice to Begin Today

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply curious, I invite you to give Metta a try. Sit quietly, place a hand over your heart, and begin with yourself:

💛 May I be peaceful.
💛 May I be at ease.
💛 May I be free from suffering.

Then, expand outward—to loved ones, strangers, and even those you struggle with. Just notice what happens.

If you’d like to learn more, here’s a beautiful talk by Johann Robbins on Metta, including thoughtful questions from the sangha (community) and reflections on why this practice matters.

🎧 Listen here: Metta Talk with Johann Robbins .